Hola lifegroup family ☀️🥹
I wasn't quite sure then, and I'm still not quite sure what words to say to you all. But I know when I start writing, it's going to be long, so I'll have to think about how to deliver this to you guys 😆
Firstly, I can't say enough how thankful I am for the letters, the cake, the fellowship, and just your presence in general this past Sunday. I thought I had gotten better at expressing myself, but if I'm being honest, when I saw the cake and the letters I felt rushed to put a lid on my emotions so that I wouldn't get too emotional in front of so many people. I haven't had much opportunity to read your letters these past few days, but I knew I wanted to hold off until I had more time to sit down and read them properly. This morning (26.07.22), I finally had time to read them all.
I'm so grateful to God for having grown me just enough and just in time, such that I was able to actually be a meaningful leader for you this season. I am not without awareness of my shortcomings, and yet God has shown me time and time again that He is the one who moves, and He is the one who fills the gaps.
I started this lifegroup season with so many worries and doubts, in the middle of a rough season in my journey of faith. To my surprise, I find myself at the end of this lifegroup season feeling as if our time together has been a repeated positive answer to a question in a prayer I asked God a long time ago: whether I would ever be able to sincerely love others or even myself. Thank you for helping me realize that in Christ I am able to love others. Thank you for loving me. And I pray that we will continue to grow in our capacity to receive and to give love to God.
With all that said, here's my last official encouragement as your former lifegroup leader!
As any season comes to an end and a new one begins, it's natural to face some worries about the season that's to come. Some of you may already be worrying, and some of your hearts may have already started to harden in the face of uncertainty. In some small part, I too still hold some nervousness around the unknowns of the next season. But that's alright!
I remember when my first lifegroup ended, I was so worried. "I literally just got close and comfortable with these people. How am I gonna do that all over again? What if we grow apart 😢? What if the next lifegroup isn't as 'good'?" So many understandable but ultimately meaningless worries. What I learned is that God doesn't do accidents. When I trusted in Him and decided to step forward with the conviction that I would try my best to be present and try to love whoever He placed me in a group with, I encountered such unexpected blessings in the relationships I built. Then when I took that leap of faith again in my first season as a lifegroup leader with you all, I was blown away again and again with how He continued to pour out His love.
So don't be worried! Don't overthink it! God's got us. You all are lovely people, and the other leaders and other people at our church are also lovely people! You'll be fine. Better than fine 🙂. I'll be praying that we each have an equally fruitful season — wherever we are. Let's take the warmth, the connection, and the safety that we've received from God this season, and take it into our next lifegroup seasons as faithful stewards of all these good things.
(And if you're ever struggling in the in-between season or in next season's lifegroup, just reach out to me! I'm not going anywhere.)
To finish off this long letter, I just want to say I would have had it no other way, and I'm so blessed that you were all my first lifegroup. I pray for the ways God will continue to surprise us in blessing and growth. I'm learning that blessings don't stop at growing closer to one another — they multiply into a whole other level of blessing when we're able to walk alongside one another and watch each other grow closer to Christ. That's what I pray for, and I'm really looking forward to it.
Your lifegroup leader,
Chanhee Lee